I’ve not used this site to blog and instead relied on Tumblr, Facebook, etc. Given some recent and major spiritual growth, I feel like it’s time for me to start sharing myself here.
Since I hit the road (driving across the country from AZ to CT to begin what I know now was the start of a 10 yrs journey), people have been telling me that I should write a book. Although I do have some pretty crazy stories, I never felt like it was time. I should also add that I hate writing. With that being said —
I’m not sure if I’ll ever write a book, but I’m being called to share my personal story with others.
The toughest part for me has been trying to decide where to start. I feel (at least for now), that I should start at the end, but what’s truly the beginning of a new and different journey that awakened me to my calling.
The last 2 years (especially the last 7 months) was journey that taught me many hard lessons, not only about myself, but about:
- the types of people I have allowed into my life and why;
- organizations that claim to “help” certain “under-served” demographics,
- “high-profile” people/organizers/activists who say one thing and do another;
- practicing what we preach;
- stepping (back) into my own power; and
- redefining the definition of community/tribe around trust, integrity, and accountability.
When I started this (taking back my power), my goal was to be heard. In the weeks since
the site went “live” [I called out an ex BF], and I sent that first email, I’ve realized that the issues and concerns I had/have are not merely about my ex and I.
I’ve realized that we’re all hurting.
To avoid the internal and communal healing that needs to be done, we keep busy pointing our fingers “out there.” This truth may hurt, but it’s the truth.
Trust that I understand the need to “fight the system” and educate people about the injustices that keep us “oppressed,” but I ask:
- “When was the last time you took a long hard look in the mirror?”
- “When was the last time you worked to heal your own family issues/trauma?”
- “When was the last time you took time for yourself to do some healing work on your physical and emotional wounds?”
- “Are you taking care of yourself emotionally and physically?”
- “Are you living up to the standards you’re asking others to adhere to?”
Most of us are not. Most of us have not. Many of us will not.
…to be continued.